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The Top Ten Reasons Why I’m Glad That Basketball Is Back

Please give a warm welcome to new Chasing 23 contributor, Tony Maglio. Tony is a long-suffering New Jersey Nets fan who also doubles as a comedy writer for Saturday Night Live. Tony will contribute a weekly column throughout the 2011-2012 NBA season.

10. By The Time You Read This, The Giants Season May Be Over

 So due to the holiday schedule, I’m submitting this on Friday to be published Sunday/Monday. I’m hoping that in the interim my beloved New York Giants beat the Jets on the “road” and are still alive in the playoff hunt – but if they don’t, I need a substitute. So welcome back NBA, and thanks for providing me with an excuse to avoid watching What Not To Wear with my girlfriend.

 9. Avoiding Family on Christmas

Basketball returns just in time for the big day.  Christmastime with family is great, don’t get me wrong – but we could all use a TV timeout from the drunk uncles and screaming kids. Thankfully Santa is bringing us a pretty good lineup highlighted by Miami back at Dallas at 2:30 – which actually could provide more drama than your family Christmas.

 8.  My Team, the New Jersey Nets ‘ (no, seriously) Center Position

It looks like we might trade for Dwight Howard! Scratch that, not gonna happen because we met with him illegally.  Well at least we still have a healthy, able-bodied Brook Lopez. What’s that you say? Broken foot, out three-four months? Crap. Forget number Eight.

 7. Charles Barkley

Sir Charles is great, and the more we get of him the merrier – unless it happens to be in those bad T Mobile commercials. Speaking of those ads, he takes an awful lot of crap from D. Wade in them. But everyone loves Chuck and he’s hosting Saturday Night Live in January, which could be a must-watch – though I’m not sure where that leaves Kenan Thompson for that episode. Anyway Barkley’s analysis is much better than his golf swing, and I’m happy to watch both.

 6. Chris Paul to Blake Griffin

How exciting is this duo gonna be? I want to see Blake Griffin posterizing a Kia every single night. The way this trade went down is shady at best, but it makes the Clippers real contenders in the West. In the meantime, Paul and Griffinare going the make every game look like NBA Jam.

 5. Metta World Peace

Actually, on second thought – go away Ron Artest. Somehow I liked you more when you were beating up innocent paying customers. And while you’re leaving, take Chad Johnson and every other bad name changer with you. “His mama named him Clay, I’m gonna call him Clay”!

 4. It’s Still Where Amazing Happens

Though I guess “Amazing” will happen fewer times in a shortened season. But fewer games does add an element of drama and a sense of urgency, and each game counts for that much more. Hot and cold streaks could mean the difference between making the playoffs and making June tee times. It’s gonna be an interesting season.

 3. Fantasy Not-Football

I got DESTROYED in Fantasy Football this year. I made my usual mistake of getting too drunk at the draft and not exactly helping myself. A few injuries later and I was cooked early. Now I need something to wash that taste out of my mouth – something like getting destroyed in Fantasy Basketball. But at least we all start undefeated.

 2. Chances Kobe Snaps

Between him nearly losing one of his last seasons to a silly holdout that seemingly benefitted no one, the constant LeBron questions, Shaq becoming an analyst, his frustration with the Odom trade, his wife filing for divorce amidst more cheating rumors, and an early-injury already – I’m placing the Vegas odds on Kobe Bryant losing his mind at 5:2. This could manifest itself in several ways – either he’ll go for 81 again or he flips out like Nucky Thompson.

 1.  This Gig

OK, shameless. But I am very excited to join Chasing 23 this season. And it’s my list, so back off. So who am I? I’m a comedy writer for television and the web who happens to be one of seven remaining New Jersey Nets fans. I also may be the only guy who wants to keep them right here in the great Garden State. I’m thrilled pro basketball is back and happy to be here covering it for a website that I’ve been a fan of. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and I’ll see you in 2012!


12 Responses to “The Top Ten Reasons Why I’m Glad That Basketball Is Back”

  1. Good stuff Tony. Although, I’m pretty sure that based on yesterday’s game, Kobe will snap sooner than later. I think that 5:2 odds are too low.

    Posted by Chauncey Gandus | December 26, 2011, 10:59 am
  2. in the minority on how good Clips will be. They dont have enough front court depth after DJ and Blake. Who r they gonna rely on? Brian Cook?

    Posted by christophersen | December 26, 2011, 11:02 am
  3. You should list #8 as “Deron Williams did NOT sign a binding contract overseas.

    Posted by Paulie Walnuts | December 26, 2011, 11:44 am
  4. Tony — welcome to Chasing23! A great start for you and the NBA season…what’s your over/under on Kobe throwing a towel in Mike Brown’s face at some point during the season?

    Posted by Brown Mamba | December 26, 2011, 12:05 pm
  5. Nice article tony…a few thoughts if I may,
    I was rather impressed yesterday during the lakers game when kobe passed out of a triple team to steve blake who hit an open shot after missing three open shots earlier in the quarter. They high fived after, if you know kobe, this is a big deal.
    I think kobe may actually like the shift from the triangle because with the new cba rules encouraging players to move more often and the complexities with the system, it may be easier for him to run a simple offense…six assists isn’t bad, eight turnovers was.
    Was it the lakers defense or the bulls lack of offense in the third that made it a game? If its the lakers defense, then the mike brown signing may go down as the deal of the year (since cp3 to the lakers never really happened).
    Miami/OKC in June seems to be the matchup most pundits are picking…how about the writers from C23 giving us their predictions…

    Posted by anti bill simmons | December 26, 2011, 4:22 pm
  6. Chances Troy Murphy lands a hot chick this season: 750000:1

    Posted by pinocchio | December 26, 2011, 6:25 pm
  7. chances gloria james bangs a former crack addict: 2:5

    Posted by Cleveland Fan | December 26, 2011, 6:32 pm

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